Last of the pregnancy posts

I know I know, practically the only thing I write about any more are things about pregnancy.  But really that's all I think about around here.  It's such a mind game, "oh, was that a contraction? What if my water breaks, Oh, another contraction?  Will baby come today? Will baby come tonight? Will baby come tomorrow?  Will I go into labor in the middle of the night? I think I felt the baby move down, or was that a contraction.  He has hiccups, maybe that will put me into labor. What if I go into labor in three days, I just cleaned the whole house, but it will be messy by then, I'll need to clean again in 2 days, unless I go into labor in 2 days....was that a contraction? "  I'm about to go crazy!  In fact I almost am crazy.  Pregnancy has made my mind mush.  Let me give you an example.  Take a look at this next picture.

I hung this painting in my master bedroom a couple of weeks ago.  Notice anything wrong?  Lets take a closer look. 

Look closely. Can you see it?  It's upside down!  I hung up a painting upside down!  To make it even worse- I'm the one who painted it!  My mind is seriously not working! My bed faces this painting and I laid in bed every night for a week looking at it.  I couldn't figure out why it didn't look right, and I just didn't like it there.  Finally I figured it out!  And it is still upside down because I am to tired to change it and I just don't care right now.

So here I am - about a week before my due date.

Another one of me with my beautifully big belly

On a more serious note I am so excited for this baby to come.  Almost every night I lay awake- exhausted, but unable to sleep.  I start thinking about holding my baby (and not being pregnant anymore) and then I can't sleep.  I get so excited- maybe it will be tonight!  Maybe tomorrow I will be holding my sweet baby!  I can't wait!  I can't sleep!   I want this baby to come!  It's like being a kid on Christmas Eve times a thousand.   For me there is nothing better in the world than the days I have given birth to my children.   My wedding day is the only thing that compares.

Life is different for everyone. Some women can't get pregnant, some women can get pregnant and miscarry, some women love being pregnant.  For me pregnancy is one of the hardest things I go through in my life.  It really is very difficult for me.  Morning sickness is so hard I feel like I am going to give up on life.  I get depression and can hardly function for months.  It is some serious suffering.  This last time was so hard, I had Darren give me a blessing.  I will never forget, he said, "You are making a noble sacrifice.  Your sacrifice will be recorded by the angels in heaven."   It felt soooo good and comforting to know that the angles understand that pregnancy is hard for me!  It is a sacrifice!  When I get pregnant I say goodbye to my body- for years!  Morning sickness, then hugeness, then it will take me a year or more to loose the 40 pounds that I have gained.   But when that baby comes it is like magic.  For me it means the suffering is over and I have done it.  Like I ran a marathon a day for 10 months straight and just finished the race and my prize is a baby that will be with us for eternity!   What in all of earth and heaven is better than that?!! It is like heaven holding a little baby that I created and suffered and sacrificed so much to create.  I look at my beautiful baby and think, "you have no idea what I had to go through to get you here.  I would do it all again in a heartbeat"