Struggles

Being a parent can be so rewarding, and it can be so hard.  At times I feel on top of the world- like a great parent.  Other times, I feel like I do so many things wrong and feel so completely discouraged.  If only I had more time, was more organized, trained my children better, yada, yada yada. 
Today Darren was working so he couldn't take the kids to church.  So I decided to go to sacrament meeting.  Only I didn't get a lot of sleep last night.  I slept in, had to nurse my baby, and we ended up being a half hour late.  We arrived and I realized it was the primary Program- and Kyle missed his part.  He was practically in tears.  Ughhh. 
Then I remembered last night was the Women's Conference that I also completely forgot about.  I was so discouraged.  I was so mad at myself.  I hate forgetting stuff.  It makes me feel so stupid and like my life is so unorganized and out of control.   Ughhh again.
I could actually go on, about the kids baptisms for the dead and Paul loosing his temple recommend, or just being late in general.  Or the fact that my kids haven't learned the simple concept of Cleaning Up After Yourself.  Or Gabe has like 100 cavities.  Ughh, Ughh, Ughhh!!   But I'm tired and the baby is finally asleep so I'm going to bed while I can.  After church I cried to Darren and he said something funny that made me laugh.   I realized, It's all going to be ok.
So while I have moments of discouragement, I don't have them a lot.  I really try not to be hard on myself.  I think it's unwise.  More often I have moments of happiness, joy and love.  And who can blame me with 5 beautiful, kind children?   Even though it can be discouraging, I love being a mom more that anything in the whole world.  I love my kids to the moon and back.