Here we are

Well, we moved. And I haven't posted anything for a while. The truth is that I am really struggling. My mom always says, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." - So I haven't said anything. You know, part of me wants to be so positive and only talk about all the great things. The other part of me wants to tell the truth. My venting side is winning tonight. I will spill it all tonight- tomorrow I promise I will get on with life and be more positive.
I read this article that talked about the 5 top stressors in life-1- death of a loved one, 2-divorce, 3- having a new baby 4-moving and 5-change of jobs. So I am currently living 3 of the top 5 stresses. Moving is just really hard- put being pregnant on top of that and I really struggle to stay afloat. Add downsizing to that and I just feel like I am overloaded. I am not saying any of this for sympathy. I am just getting it out so I can move on. So here goes some "getting it out"

First of all it like a million degrees here. When I am not pregnant I don't mind the heat. But being pregnant and going out in the heat makes me feel nauseous. When we moved in, the guys who helped us were literately all dripping sweat.

Second, Downsizing- I recently spent 3 months sick as a dog, while trying to sell more than 1/2 of my belongings and food storage. Literally 1/2. When we moved to Tennessee we had 2 trucks full of stuff. When we moved to Florida we had 1. And we are still way to crowded and going to have to get rid of more stuff. When we move out of this place we will probably have 3/4 of a truck. I guess it feels good to cleanse. It's just getting old, and I am feeling so claustrophobic STILL after all of my work! In Rigby we had a great house, yard, garden, shed and great neighbors. We had chickens, fruit trees, strawberries, and a big ol' raspberry patch. I thought we were settled. Then- Surprise! We are moving to Tennessee. Not so bad, we can live by David and Marilyn, we found a big beautiful house to rent on 7 acres. We took all of our food storage and all of our belongings. Moving all that stuff was really pretty hard and traumatic. Darren was already in Tennessee, so I pretty much did it all with help from friends. After we moved my kids cried every night for at least a month. I figured we would be there at least 4 years. A year later we find out we are moving to Florida. Into a 3 bedroom 1580 square foot townhouse. Which- after a weekend of conference and with stuff EVERYWHERE is feeling so claustrophobic. You know, it's just really hard to downsize so much. I feel like we have taken a huge step backwards in life. I know we haven't- and this is the best route to go- but it's just hard.

I am sure in a couple weeks after I get rid of a bunch more stuff and unpack I will feel better. But you know what? I am tired! I am pregnant! I am hot! I am uncomfortable! I don't feel like working all day long everyday for the next couple weeks! I want to just rest. I want to send the kids to school for a day and sit on the couch with the air conditioning on and watch tv all day.

Third- I am moving to somewhere I have never wanted to live! I don't want to live in Florida- I want to vacation in Florida. I want to live out West by my family! I want to see the leaves change color and fall. I want to go to Gardner Village with all my sisters and mom for the Witch's festival. I want snow for Christmas. I want to see tulips and daffodils in spring. I know that so many people would love to live in Florida by the beach. But I'm not one of them. I want to live by the mountains.

Overall it's all ok. Life will go on and I will get probably end up crying when we leave. I am sure later in life I will look back and think- "I really should have enjoyed my time in Florida more." LOL- So guess I will start doing that right now and looking at it more as an adventure.